A very personal note – not for the faint of heart

Many of you know Dan Waldschmidt, Chief Antagonist and Master of Sales and Sales Managment. (www.danwaldschmidt.com). He allowed me to conduct a public interview last year about Edgy Selling, maybe you attended.

Recently, Dan ran a 125-mile race (yes, that’s like 5 THOUSAND marathons) in one day. He did it to benefit TWLOHA (www.twloha.com) an organization that helps people with serious depression, addiction, and suicide. He shared why this was important to him. You can see more in his blog.

At any rate, I was so moved by his commitment….it was personal for me.

Finally, two nights ago I had the courage to write him the email that follows. Amazingly, he found the time in his schedule to read it AND TO RESPOND to me. He encouraged me to make this private conversation public — because it matters to heal — and when you involve people in the REAL conversations, they can heal, too.

So, I share my letter with you…..it is vulnerable and visceral. It is my gift to you – if you have something important you need to heal, too.

I can tell you that things like this never go away, but they do get less disruptive and sometimes they even give you pathways to connect with others that weren’t possible before.


My mother killed herself when I was 28. She took a butcher knife to her throat, and arms, and ankles. She died in the tub reading a book called “The Black Marble” – she always read to pass the time.

She tried before when SHE was 19 and tried again when SHE was 25.

I have not had the courage to face the issue the way that you did. It ran too deep. I did not know how to even THINK about that I could make a difference for others.

My mother and I were very close. We spoke every day. I loved her dearly and did not see it coming.

She tried the first time before I was born and I was WAY too young to remember the second time.

After she died, it took weeks before my family finally told me that she had attempted this before in her life, as I wracked (sp?) my brains to figure out HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? THIS WAS NOT LIKE HER!!! I had no idea.

I am grateful I got 28 years with her. I can’t imagine the impact if she’d succeeded when I was little.

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She was amazing – (she didn’t know it). You would have LOVED her. Talk about edgy and loving and precise and brilliant! She was all of that.

I do not fault my family for not telling me, a young girl, that my mother was a suicide risk. Yet, it was hard that they took so long to tell me (once it had happened) that it was not a surprise to them. It startled me to no end. My world shook apart.

Your honesty and candor is moving to me. With your 125-mile run, I started to get in touch with a side of me that maybe I could make a difference with someone so dear to me. But just a touch, a light feather of an inkling. I didn’t even donate to your run, it’s so scary for me to touch it.

I don’t know how I found you, but I am lucky that there are “you’s” in this world.

So, thank you for making a difference with me. I know you are ABOUT making a difference for people and it matters that you know. Your vulnerabilty, swagger, passion, and madness are dear to me.

Thank you.


The Irreverent Sales Girl”

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